Why the stars shine so brightly
by MD5991
Summary: It's only natural since their father's disappearance that Alan wanted answers, unfortunately the truth isn't always that easy to accept. An accompanying fic to artisticrainey's beautiful artwork on the cover. TAG 2015, Oneshot. Features precious space-brother hugs.


**Ahh so after begging for more John/Alan moments artisticrainey produced this beautiful piece and I've spent all afternoon trying to come up with a fic to accompany it. I've already published this on tumblr but since I haven't uploaded anything on here in while I thought eh, why not? Bear in mind guys I haven't written in around 2 years so please be nice, although I do take on board constructive criticism...enjoyy :)**

The only sound that interrupted the stillness of the island was that of the crickets chirping in the warm tropical air outside. That, and the sound of a certain redhead stumbling across the kitchen area, sending a stack of cups on their way south as his heavy hands awkwardly reached for one under the weight of the Earth's gravity.

Alan leapt from his spot on the couch, quickly making his way across the lounge in his attempt to catch the astronaut before he made his way to the space elevator, no doubt away from the hassles of humanity and well..gravity.

"Hey John?

The younger piped up, watching his brother squint as he carefully stood and reassembled the stack of cups, placing them firmly on the countertop. The redhead turned, preparing to abruptly interrupt the younger for interrupting his concentration before noticing the change in demeanour of his youngest brother;

"What is it Alan?"

The blonde opened his mouth to answer, before hesitantly stopping himself as a cautious expression spread across his features. Alan sighed, he didn't want to bring it up, the subject was almost taboo and considering the reactions he had gotten previously it was almost impermissible to speak of. But he wanted answers, for too long he had been shut out and treat like a child, too young and vulnerable to know the truth. Not this time.

"Do you think dad is.. y'know.."

He couldn't actually bring himself to say it. He had constructed the question so well inside of his head, but the truth was as much as he wanted to hear a compendious answer, he didn't think he could face hearing what could be the harsh reality of the situation. _Come on Alan, pull yourself together._

John exhaled gently, lowering his gaze as he detected the glint of earnestness in his brother's eyes. He knew this was coming, Scott had informed him earlier of the youngest's desire for answers, answers which neither of them could truthfully give him. As much as a the astronaut wanted to smile and tell his younger brother that their father was alive and safe and somehow making his way back to them, he knew that if being a part of International Rescue had taught Alan one thing, it has been that hope by itself was not enough to fix a situation. Virgil may have lived by that philosophy, especially during times when he was rendered helpless during a mission, but for an incisive and rational man like himself, he found little solace in relying on faith.

"Honestly… I don't know"

Alan glanced up to watch his brother's expression become enveloped by a wave of sadness, observing the way John's shoulders sagged as his gaze remained focused on the floor tiles.

"..it's been too long Alan"

There was an uncomfortable silence hanging between the two and, as a result, Alan didn't want to push for answers any further. He was aware of the guilt that has been hanging over John since the elder had failed to locate their father's aircraft, but the astronaut had a tendency to focus so much on the missions he was coordinating, it never really occurred to Alan how much John must have been hurting after he had, essentially, failed at his own job. Each of them had their own methods of coping, sure, building up walls around their emotions tended to be the coping mechanism for the eldest and middle brother. But John, John has isolated himself in orbit, away from the comfort of his grieving family, away from the island that held their father's cherished and secret dream, away from, really... the reality.

A stab of guilt jabbed away at the blonde, who in turn lowered his gaze to avoid making eye contact with those sorrowful turquoise eyes that peered down at him. Hearing a truthful answer for the first time, a real, coherent answer not washed over by glimpses of hope, had hurt, he wasn't going to lie. What remnants of hope that the teenager had held previously had now been rapidly shattered, because his stargazing brother was a man of truth, everyone knew that. John's words hadn't expressed any kind of question, they had merely been an expression of his true understanding, the simple way he had merely stated it as he had saw it. The truth.

A feeling of melancholy surrounded him and, after a moment Alan turned to walk towards the large window. He gazed out over the view of the pool that reflected the stars high above the villa, carefully watching the glistening on the surface of the still water, untouched even by the gentle breeze that swept above it. Tilting his head to gaze up at their celestial beauty, he felt a stray tear make its way down his left cheek.

"Dad used to say that the stars shone more brightly when someone you loved was up there with them, watching over you".

He once again lower his gaze to the twinkling in the water.

"They're so bright tonight Johnny".

He knew John was watching him, he could feel his gaze penetrating his skin and Alan knew the astronaut would not leave him alone now he had brought this up, which is why he was not surprised when he felt a comforting hand rest hesitantly on his shoulder. John stood silently for a moment, pondering over his answer. How could he answer that? Being a science graduate he could recite a 6 page essay on why the stars shone so brightly, but to his fourteen-year-old brother an answer on the light generated by the nuclear fusion of hydrogen was not what he needed to hear right now.

"The stars always shine more brightly on a clear night Alan. After Mom died the skies stayed clear for months, Dad used to say it was her way of making sure she could keep a watchful eye on us all from up there.."

He chuckled, remembering the comfort it used to bring as he reminisced about the times when the youngest two had proved quite a handful in the months following Lucille's death.

"Perhaps…" he started, tightening his grip on the blonde's shoulder,

"…it's a sign that dad's with her doing the same thing"

At those words, Alan couldn't fight back the sobs that suddenly erupted from his mouth as his body curled in on itself and he began to shake. John had just confirmed what he had been feeling in the pit of his stomach for so long, but hearing them actually being spoken, he suddenly felt a sickening feeling of anguish wash over his skinny teenage frame.

The redhead reacted almost instantly, despite not being the greatest at offering comfort, he found himself in front of the youngest, encompassing him in a warm embrace. The blonde actively accepted it, wrapping his arms tightly around his brother's waist as he nuzzled into his shoulder, allowing his sobs to seize him as he felt his tears flow freely from his usually baby blue eyes. John tightened his grip on his younger brother, before bringing his hand up to stroke the stray strands of Alan's hair, feeling the fabric of his shirt dampen slightly as his baby brother cried into his boney shoulder.

"I m-miss him Johnny"

Alan sobbed, steadily trying to even out his breathing as he actively tried to regain his composure. "I know Alan" John started, "I do too, we all do. Especially Scott, don't be too hard on him Al, I know he gave you a hard time earlier, but that's just because he's hurting too"

"M'sorry John" Alan mumbled, nuzzling himself closer into the comfort of his other space-loving brother. "I don't blame Scott, I know he's just trying to do what's best for us. But..he's not dad"

The blonde closed his eyes, trying to hold back another tidal wave of tears that were actively trying to make an escape.

"What are we supposed to do John?"

Now that was a question the astronaut felt confident in answering. He lifted his head, narrowing his eyes whilst reflecting the proud stance that their father had previously shown in times of adversity. It sounds cliche, but he makes his point nonetheless.

"We carry on Alan, we make International Rescue the best it can be, because that's exactly what dad would have wanted"

His eyes soften, feeling a hint of tears starting to brim in those aquamarine orbs, John looks upwards. He takes in the beauty of the stars illuminating the sky that look ever so different planet-side compared to what he was used to gazing at from his station amongst them.

"I know how scary it is, but there are people who need us Alan, people who put their lives into our hands and we have a job to protect them. We can't just keep wallowing in self-pity, even if may seem like the easier option. Dad taught us to get through times like this, and we ARE going to get through this..."

John swallows, his gaze not leaving that one lone star that seemed to glimmer ever so brightly amongst the rest, "...as a family"

"You promise Johnny?"

Alan had sensed the quiver in John's voice as he had said that last line, it was the first time he had heard the astronaut refer to them as a family as opposed to just an organisation.

"I promise" he sighed, allowing his expression to mirror that of his brother as he felt the salty tears fall freely under the ever-present gravity, losing him in a stream of consciousness.

 _I need you Dad, wherever you are._


End file.
